No, I'm not depressed

I'm not depressed

I do not take pleasure in the things that I used to enjoy.

I haven't picked up my camera in weeks, don't take it with me wherever I go

Don't post or join in the conversations on my photography group's facebook page,

don't go to group photo sessions.

I don't go to Friday night cards anymore with my group of friends

That they are much better people that I am

That I don't deserve their company.

I've done some really bad things since springtime.

I skipped hockey Tuesday night 

and will have to force myself to go tonight.  

I haven't picked up a knitting needle, crochet needle or cross-stitch needle in months.

Haven't gone on bike rides around the lake

but that's because the bears this year are everywhere

and I don't want to surprise a mama with her cubs

or come between a papa and the berry bushes or apple trees.

 I'm not depressed.  

Those are definitely some of the signs.

But I've been clinically depressed before

and I know what that feels like.

I don't feel unfulfilled.

I still scrapbook and read.

I still work and enjoy my work for the most part.

I do enjoy my time alone.

I want time alone.  

The more time alone the better.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that.