Hidden Memories

I've been thinking a lot about a thought that came to my head
Came from something somebody posted on facebook about liking yourself

I had a sudden, wouldn't call it epiphany,
more of a realization
That I cannot remember ever liking myself.

My first memory is of a shameful action.
standing in my crib no less.
And I have no memories since then of liking what I see in the mirror
Not as a whole, anyways

This summer my cousin Dagmar's parents came to visit
and spent a few days here
they brought with them some old pictures to give to my dad and I
Going through them I came across one of myself
Maybe about 15 or so years of age
the first words out of my mouth
were "God, I was so ugly"
I wouldn't have said that if I had thought first
but it blurted out and my stepmother looked at me,
 amazed that I could believe that
and that that would be my first, gut reaction on seeing that picture

Then today I was walking with my dog and pulled my mitten off with my teeth
as my hands were full of doggy leash and shopping bag
and I had to scratch an itch, hard to do with mittens on.
Anyways, as I pulled it off with my teeth I had an instant flashback
the feel of mitten wool in the mouth
the smell of wet mitten
and I was in the school yard, grade 2 or 3, not sure which
and I was doing the same thing and then let go of my mitten
as it dropped down attached by a crocheted string
that went through my jacket arms, attaching my mittens to one another
so they wouldn't get lost
Anyone who has grown up in a cold climate knows what I mean

I remember the girl, Angela was her name
who laughed at me and I can still hear her say in my head
"Haha...your mom still makes you wear your mittens on strings!!"

I had forgotten that memory, now, almost 40 years later,
it's at the forefront of my mind.
With so many others like it.

Whoever said that sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me
was so wrong.  I would take sticks and stones over words any day.

Silent is the Night

photo credit here

No I did not take this picture

my camera, almost brand new, is about to be sent off for repairs

apparently not able to withstand Monty bonking his head on it

And I'm not sure I could shoot in the dark anyways

but, in any case

taking Monty out before bedtime tonight

all is silent, all is bright

standing in the middle of a highway, albeit a small two-laner

not hearing a sound

i mean, utter silence

 no cars, no dogs barking, none of the summer night sounds of crickets or frogs

the only sound, if I listen real close, is the drum-like beat of my blood pulsing

through my temple

a car draws near on this silent sunday night

its sound muffled by the snow

by the time I hear it, whoosh, it's gone into the silence

and i hear nothing again

the sky above is starless and cloudy

yet enough light reflects from the clouds to the snow and back again

so that I do not need my flashlight

I am blessed indeed to live where i do

to be able to hear the silence

and appreciate its song

These Happy Golden Days

Autumn is a second spring

When every leaf is a flower

   -Albert Camus-              

Day of blessing

In the midst of the darkness a day of light has come through

September 28 1992 and September 28 1994 were the two most special days

of my life,

the days that my sons were born

 

I was worried that I would be unable to enjoy the day

But a talk with my psychiatrist on Friday combined with the gladness of the day

Enabled me to put aside the darkness

if only for a day

 

After spending time with Trevor and his girlfriend

(Jeremy lives too far away at the moment, sadly)

I was able to go out for a walk with my dog and my camera

and enjoy myself and the surrounds for a change

The nicest walk I've been on for a while

 

I didn't have to notice the possibilities of bad

and was able to appreciate and see the good

 

It was a much appreciated reprieve from the last few weeks

It may not last forever but it lasted for the day

and has spilled over into today

 

The only thing to mar it

was that Monty bonked his anvil-like head against my swinging camera

and now I get a lovely little message saying "lens error, camera will turn off automatically"

That can't be good but I'm sure it can be fixed

I also tore a hole in my shirt climbing through a barbed wire fence

but that too can be mended

 

And if those can be mended

Maybe my broken psyche can be too

If not mended, maybe patched for a while.

 

The bad thing hasn't happened yet

It will but I am not so worked up about it right now.

Tomorrow my husband is back on night shift

and that's when the demons come

but for now, I will believe that I can ward them off again

 

and enjoy the good things in life.

You know the feeling......

 

That yucky gucky feeling in your gut

when you  know something decidedly unpleasant is coming up

but you don't know exactly how it's going to play out

or what it will do to you

 

you know it's going to happen

soon

but you don't know when

you just want it to be over with so that you can put it behind you

and start, again, at day 1.

 

you can't concentrate

you make way too many trips to the bathroom

if you were an alcoholic you could make the yucky gucky go away for now

if you were into drugs you could deaden the feelings

but you're not either one and it would just lead to more yucky gucky anyways

 

So sleep is the only option

You could enhance that sleep

Make it more of an unconsciousness than a sleep

You're capable of that, have done it before

but in the end, where does that get you

 

So, you wait with open ears and baited breath.

Get it over with and start anew.

 

 

picture found on google credit to here

They still need me.........

My boys are young men

Flown out of our nest

Making lives of their own

We hope we gave them the good foundations

we love them and are proud of them

but miss the little boys they were.

Then I get a phone call:

"Mom, I need help.....the instructions on the frozen vegetables 

say to add salt, but I don't have any.  Is it still okay to use them?"

~

"Mom, I need help.... I had a sudden thought that maybe the town

water isn't any good and that I'll get a disease from it, is it okay 

to drink it?"  (this from the one who has OCD and gets

sudden real fears about things like that)

~

"Mom, I need help....I can't figure out how to attach my resume to my email."

~

"Mom......I need help, I'm not sure how to fill out this form."

~

"Mom.....I need help, I don't know what to do about this problem with this girl."

~

It's good to know they still need me to help them with their puzzles and get them out of tight spots

some a little bigger than they used to be

and some smaller than what seemed like a huge problem when they were little.

~

It's good to be needed and good to remember in those darker days

that sometimes I don't like the world

but I may mean the world to someone.

~

Love you boys!

  DARKNESS

i wonder whether the stresses 

are worth the pain

why are the bad times so much more magnified than the good?

is life worth the emotional struggles

the inner conflicts that constantly pit the evil me against the good me

the psychopathic tendencies against the pretended normalcy

born under the sign of gemini....the twins

could not be more suitable

the me known by some

and the me known by others

smart, witty, friendly, creative, loving 

smart, wily, loner, destructive, full of hatred

my blog is totally me

but only part of me

less than a handful know the both of me

the only ones who really know the danger of me

are those i task to protect me from my own evil potential

authorities to whom i tell all that i am capable of

who know much of what i have done in the past

i have paid my dues but the danger has not diminished 

and so

willingly i accept the external boundaries placed on my freedom

boundaries that are renewed over and over

to keep myself from horrendous acts

not for me, not for others

but for my children

my children love me and need me

who could explain to my dog where i went?

my husband has stuck through so much with me

i can't desert family in their time of need

and so i deal with it in the way i know how

cutting, burning, carving, destroying

because there is always some reason 

that holds me back

something that makes me say wait until next week

next week has not come

yet

Starry, starry night

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and gray
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colors on the snowy linen land

 

My Grade 2 teacher, Miss McElhone way back in 1975

in a brand new, three-room plus one portable school

in smalltown Ontario

 (actually one big room separated into three by room dividers)

taught us that the number "googooplex"

was the highest number in the world,

one less than infinity.

 

(She also taught me the difference between its and it's,

and every time I am writing something and stop and think which

form I am using, I think of her, but that's beside the point.)

 

For the last couple of nights, Miss McElhone,

There have been a googooplex and one stars in the sky.

I wonder if you saw them too.

 

Truly awe-inspiring to realize how insignificant we are

In the general scheme of things. 

 

My world is my world

A different world than anyone else's

Just as everyone else's is different than anyone else's.

 

My world is defined by what my life revolves around.

My life revolves around my world.

 

But looking out at the incomprehensible vastness

of what is really but a fleck in the entire scheme

makes one realize just how insignificant we really are.

 

Some of us have changed the world

All of us have just changed our own slice of it

But there is nothing that any of us can do

To change the entirety.

 

Makes one a little humble

and it may not even be healthy to think that way all the time

because while we may not be able to change the universe

or even our earthly world

 

To someone

We may mean the world

 

                       -the end-

 

 

What I learned yesterday....

First off, I didn't realize when planning this post that the last post I wrote was also about deer.

 

Oh well. 

 

So, what I learned yesterday, while looking out of my home office window, is that

 

1.  Deer lick their netherparts just like dogs and cats.

~

2.  This particular doe and her fawn and beginning to feel way too comfortable in my yard,

munching on whatever turns their fancy.

 ~

 3.  My dog, much as I love him, is sometimes a little lacking

 in the sniffing and smelling department.

~

What I wonder is......are deer tongues slick and slippery like a dog's

or rough and dry like a cat's?  If these deer get any more comfortable in my yard,

I may just be able to walk up to them and find out!

 



Calling all Deer

 

I've stumbled upon a deer call

Fortunately I could never kill a deer

 

What happened was a couple of weeks ago while walking along a path with Monty

I idly plucked a pick of grass

and whistled it between my thumbs.

 

 

Up the path out popped a deer's head around a bush

the most comical and humanlike look it its face

of "WTF??""

 

I laughed aloud.

 

Today, I idly did the same thing along our road

and heard a rustling in the bush

so did Monty

Luckily there was a fence between the deer and us

Because this deer had a different look altogether

 

She looked furious.

 

To set the scene this doe has been hanging out in our area a lot this summer

with her two little baby fawns.

Last week on a walk I came across a little fawn dead on the side of the road

not a pretty sight

poor little thing

I wondered at the time if it was one of the pair.

 

So today, this doe popped out of the bush on the other side of the fence

and rather than bounding back in at Monty's barking,

She glared and charged.

Monty barked back at her

She took a step back and then charged again.

 

I know she would have no problem clearing the fence

but I have a hunch she had a little fawn back there

the only one left.

and possibly thought the screech of the grass whistle was her missing baby.

 

I called Monty back

threw away the blade of grass

and scurried on my way, Monty in tow.

 

I won't be blowing on grass any time soon.

 

 

photo credits here and here

Sunny and hot with internet outages.

 

What started out as a seemingly productive day

has come to an abrupt halt. 

 

To be fair, I suppose it depends on my definition of productive.

 

Thursdays are one of my "long" days, where I usually work for 7½ hours

I do medical transcription and it simply cannot be done without

an internet connection. 

 

So, for every blip in the connectivity, I get some laundry folded, or the bed made, or part of a scrapbook page done, or an iced coffee made, or a few lines of a blog written.

 

Productive, but not earning much money that way!

 

 

I think the Internet Gods that control my connection

are in bed with the weather man.

Every type of extreme, although that's not really the word given the extreme weather conditions that have plagued the world lately, but I can't think of a better word,

So, every type of odd weather,

that's not the word either.

If its unusually cold, hot, windy, rainy, snowy

We have outages.

 

Today it's about 30 I would guestimate (no idea what that is in Fahrenheit, sorry guys)

Not overly unbearable hot, but, hot for us with nary a cloud in the sky.

So, I am cursing my lack of production, hoping that my supervisor believes me

(maybe I should send her a link to this blog!).

 

Usually our weather can be summed up as this:

"Sunny and hot with some clouds and periods of coldness and rain with maybe some wind and a chance of frost or snow with possibly some lightening, repeat every 20 minutes."

 

That's when I can count on Mr Internet God to perform!

 

 



Hail to the Prince!

 

Prince George

 

While the world, well, some of us anyway,

eagerly anticipated the newest royal birth

(I was sure it would be a girl)

and then the name game

I was remembering the last two princes' births

 

I don't really remember William's, though I do remember his parents' wedding

But I vividly remember the announcement of the name of his sibling, Harry.

I thought to myself, "What a stupid name for a prince, or a baby in general, Harry."

 

I didn't realize at the time that it was a form of Henry. 

And even now, I question the judgement of the name, given the notoriety of King Henry VIII.

But now, 29 years later, who could think of Prince Harry as anything other than a Harry?

 

In this world of monikers such as Hopper, Apple, Kyd, Maddox, Blue and Fuchsia

(Google celeb's baby names!)

We could be assured that he would at least have a traditional name.

 

I was really hoping that it would not be Edward,

As King Edwards, historically, did not do well.

King Edward III died in battle

King Edward IV died as a fairly young man of some illness

King Edward V was one of the two lost princes in the tower, at 13 years of age he and his brother Richard having gone into the Tower of London and never were seen again,

their fate unknown to this day.

And King Edward VIII abdicating the throne for love, though that's probably not a bad trade-off, though it did wreak havoc.

 

So, we have a Georgie, named after his great, great grandfather no doubt.

Whether he will one day be King remains to be seen

in the greater scheme of things

whether he will be happy, that's all that any parent could wish for.

 

Prince William



 

Prince Harry

 

Say what????

 

I don't necessarily think that I am what used to be called "prudish"

but when I go to the doctor to get a refill of my prescriptions

and it is a doctor I have never seen before filling in at a walk in clinic

I don't really expect one of the first things for him to ask me

after seeing what meds I take

 is

"how is your sex life and your libido?"

"ummmm,,,,fine" I say hesitatingly

He advises me that

"you know vibration can help with that."

 

I'm wondering if he was thinking the same thing I was thinking

or if he had something else in mind entirely.

 

Whatever happened to a little bit of discretion???

 

Maybe I should have asked if he had any free samples.

 

 

 

Dear Blog....I've missed you.

 

What is a blog?  That is the question.

 

I've missed blogging

but it was starting to take up so much time when I had so many other things to do.

Lately I've been thinking of it a lot

and how I can fit it back into my life.

I am most certainly not a social butterfly but rather a homebody almost to the extreme

but even at home, I am always busy with some chore, craft or pleasure.

 

Spending a couple hours of blogging needed to be cut down on the priority list.

 

But I want to do this for me

Not that I haven't enjoyed the folks I used to follow, both reading their blogs and receiving their comments on my blog.

 

For now though, I'm going to tippie toe back into blog world, through the back door

and just slip inside.

 

This time I am blogging for me and will have to use some self discipline

Something I sorely lack.

I'm not going to spend time wandering around other blogs,

which is not to say I don't want to,

but that I have to keep my priorities.

 

My blog is for me.

My memories, thoughts, feelings, experiences.

It's meant to be a record of who I was, am and will be.

Something to have printed and leave as a legacy, something to look back on

 

Something for me.

 

I'm leaving the comment box open

But I don't expect many if any comments

Because I know I'm being selfish here.

 

But this time its for me.

 

With love, from me. 

This is absolutely amazing!!!!! check it out!!

 

This painting is truly remarkable. Even more amazing though, is that the canvas has been computerized. When you click on the link below, a much bigger version of the computerized painting appears.

Run your cursor over the people. The program tells you who they are - every single one of them. BUT (click on a person) and you obtain the individual’s life history.

This is fascinating... Can keep you busy for hours!

 

http://cliptank.com/PeopleofInfluencePainting.htm

Look ma, its melting!

 

Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough

 

- Earl Wilson

The Gift

I am not a holiday-celebrating type of person

though I do love the two boxes of chocolates and the potted pink kalanchoe plant

it would not bother me any if we did not celebrate any holidays

I don't like days when you are expected to do something just because its a holiday.

That is why I didn't write a Valentine's day post

when it seems every other blogger in Blogland did.

 

However......

 

Last night I was watching Big Bang Theory

and a situation came up that made me appreciate the day.

 

Amy's gift to Sheldon was to stay in, order pizza

and watch one of his "Star Trek Wars movies"

Because she was his girlfriend and she wanted to give him

the gift that would please him the most.

 

Sheldon's gift to Amy was to give her a copy of his

personnel record of the university where he works

and tell her to look at the

"person to contact in case of emergency" field

where he had entered her name.

 

They were both thrilled beyond words

and such simplicity

made a little bit of gushy mushy inside me smile.

Bazinga

 



That's my story and I'm sticking to it

 

 

despite my best intentions,

I have let blogging fall by the wayside again, for the past few weeks

 

the reasons are identifyable

understandable

and not entirly unforgiveable

 

and after all, it is my blog

and ultimately, though I love to share with others's blogs

and truly appreciate and look forward to comments

I am doing this for me

we are all doing this for us I suspect

 

do you ever write a post that you especially like

and don't really want to cover up with a new one?

that's how I feel about my last one

I have read it over and over to myself

and love the pics of my boy when he was small

 

so that was my original reason for not updating

 

but, blogging is like a good friend who is a long ways away

it takes time, energy and true willingness to keep the friendship up

and so, I am writing again, rambling again

to keep it up

 

I printed a book of my first few years of blogging

and it is a journal of sorts

my thoughts, feelings, remembrances and experiences

together with images I felt appropriate

and shared and commented upon by others

 

It's a legacy

my children may read it someday

and laugh or cry over the parts of inner me,

things they didn't know about

 

so, am I blogging for me or for them?

I guess both

then I think, that's kind of, what's the word I'm looking for,

egotisctical in a way

 

to think that my kids would be interested in those parts of me

to think that anyone would be interested in inconspicuous little me

100 years from now, nobody alive now will remember who I was

I may hang on an ancestorial wall

part of a family tree

 

And I may even look down from above

and say....that was me.

 

 



Small town acquaintances in big town life

 

I do like Facebook for certain things.

I happened to note on "my wall" or whatever its called

that my son, Jeremy, has tickets for a hockey game
on Monday in Edmonton
and that he is "stoked" to go as he has never been to an NHL game
 

Anyways, someone commented that they were going too.

And asked who he was going with and where his seats were
and if there were "pre-drinks" arranged anywhere
(not that I needed to know that!)
 

 This someone is also named Jeremy

and therein lies the story.

 

When my son was maybe 2 years old or so,

we went to a local moms and tots group.

There was another mother who had a son also named Jeremy.

This Jeremy's grandmother had knitted him a little jacket with his name on the back

He had outgrown it and the young mother was delighted to be able to pass

it on to another Jeremy, otherwise it would have been stuck in a closet.

 

 

The mother and I didn't really stay in contact.

Both Jeremys grew up in the same town though not the same school

 both involved in things that meant running into each other

and while there was not really a close friendship,
there was a friendly small town acquaintance

One a year older than the other

 

They were both into hockey and both reffed for a time (my Jeremy not for very long).

They were both in soccer though not on the same teams as those were divided by school

and when the time came for high school,

 they attended Junior and Senior High together

(as there is only one of each).

The one had a girlfriend who was friends with a friend

They sometimes found themselves at the same party

Or happened to be hanging around with the same group at the park or the arena

Or would run into each other at a fast food place

(not McDonalds, the powers that be deem that we are too small for one here :()

 

Fast forward a few more years and they have both grown into young men

Both have left the small British Columbia town life behind
for the big bucks to be earned in Northern Alberta
Made lives for themselves as adults.
 

I had no idea they still kept tabs on each other

When suddenly this Facebook comment comes up

about two small-town boys with the same name running into each other in the big city.

 

I thought it was kinda neat.

 

 



Enough already!

 

As I sit here with my coffee and a bowl of grapes its snowing outside.

 

Again.

 

I really do think that Mother Nature has to show Old Man Winter

who wears the pants in the family

She has indulged him long enough and its time to stop.

 

 

I realize its only the end of January

and spring is still almost three months away

and yes, I chose to live here

and yes, I love living here

and yes, I do enjoy the snow

and yes, we do have beautiful winters

 

 

but when I step off the shovelled pathways to the shed, the wood shed, the garage, the garbage shed

(or lose my balance, because those pathways are getting narrower and narrower)

and step into snow past my knee-high boots, past my knees for that matter

I say enough.

 

Monty has to step off the pathways

where he is not allowed to poop (though sometimes does anyways)

and tries to crouch high enough in the deep snow so that there is a bit of space left between him and the ground or risk a poopy butt. (great mental image eh?)

I think even he says enough

 

 

In the last two days my husband and I have accumulated

a total of 6 hours shovelling.

Six hours out of our lives that will never come back.

The snow banks are higher than me in places.

He says enough.

 

 

The days are getting longer

Sunset this evening is at 5:03 precisely

by the time the longest day comes around all this snow will be gone.

 

But where will it go?

The irony is that we have to hope for a slow melt and a late spring

because it's going to be a muddy mess

That goes without saying

We have four seasons here, green, yellow, white and brown.

But this year's brown season is going to last forever.

 

 

So Old Man Winter, stop sticking your tongue out and saying "Nyah, nyah you can't get me"

 

We say enough.

 

(old man winter picture is not mine and was found on Yahoo Images linked to this blog)

 



Sunset Sunday

 

"The sacred lamp of day

Now dipt in western clouds

His parting day"

 

                                                       William Falconer

 

 

 

 

 



When opportunity knocks.....

       Don't ask questions.  Just bask in it. 

 

 

I dumped out my yarn bin

with the intention of finding yarns suitable to make Barbie doll clothes for my great-niece.

 

I went to do something in another room and when I came back I saw Monty had found a nice soft spot.  I couldn't disturb him looking so sweet, so the yarn had to wait until he got up.

 

 

After all, we are told to let sleeping dogs lie.

 



On dreams

               I Dreamed.

I dreamed a dream and in that dream,
I dreamed that I had dreamed a dream

Of hope and fairytales come true,

I dreamed a dream and thought of truth,
I dreamed a dream of life and love,
Of fate and angels and God above

I dreamed a dream of good wishes and friends,
I dreamed a dream I dreaded to end

But then I woke into my dream,
I dreamed I woke in a world obscene
I dreamed a dream of violence and hate
And once again I dreamed of fate

I dreamed a dream of terror and fear
I dreamed that each word went unheard
And so children never spoke a word

I dreamed a dream of demons and beasts
I dreamed a dream that ended at last

I woke in my bed and wondered if
I dreamed a dream of dreams or if
I dreamed a dream of truth that night
And if so I wondered which was truth
And which was merely a dream.

                                                              
                                                                                    Emma Wright

I dream many weird things, as do we all.

Last night I dreamed that my oldest boy hit the in winning three runs in the World Series (baseball) on the same day that my younger son played for BC Lions in the final playoff for the Grey Cup (football).  I was so incredibly proud of them both but when I couldn't find their names in the Vancouver Province newspaper while sitting on a school bus with their old bus driver, Rick, trying to count out $1.00 for the fare because on Fridays the fare was higher and keeping on loosing count I began to wonder if it was just a dream that it had happened and while picking up three pairs of striped mittens off the floor for the lady sitting next me me with her two kids I noticed that the papers I were looking at were all soggy and that was why I couldn't read their names.

Fastforward to the dinner table, where I had made vanilla pudding for dessert and wouldn't let the little girl have any unless she ate all of her sausages laid out in front of her in a row and I didn't have enough pudding out of a 4-serving package to divide into 8 bowls and the strawberry sauce was mostly water which was not good enough for my sons who were heroes even though nobody had heard about it except for the people at the sports store who tried to sell me a suit for Gerry for funerals and weddings because the father of such now famous sons had to look good, a suit with blue jeans and long fuzzy red suspenders that hung down under the jacket.

Gerry didn't want the suit and instead wanted 24.00 which I didn't want to give him unless he told me what it was for and he was choking me over my mom's living room chair to give it to him and finally said he needed it for lottery tickets and if I didn't laugh at him every time he bought them he would have no problem telling me what the money was for, it's not as if he was using it for strawberry syrup!  And if he wanted to drive the kids down to the end of the road to catch the bus it was really none of my business and if I really wanted to go to Grade 15 I could take the bus with them but I would have to do all of my homework and not be afraid to go into the elevator at the hotel.

Any dream interpreters care to take a shot at that?????

they gang awry

Robert Burns ....He Knew it Best

"But Mousie, thou art no thy lane
In proving foresight may be vain
The best-laid schemes o' mice an’ men
Gang aft agley
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain
For promis'd joy!"

My plans were laid

Foresight I had tried to prove

Promised joy was gleefully expected

And I wound up with grief and pain

^^^

Well, not quite so drastic

^^^

But that darn flu knocked me for a loop

And caused my plans to be put on hold

^^

I had planned:

* to get back to blogging and fill in the blanks on all the blogs I follow

*to shampoo the carpets

*to finish creating my craft room

*to take walks in the snow with my dog and my camera

*to get back to hockey

*to get caught up with various paperwork, nasty stuff that but it has to be done

*relax while playing Pogo and reading books

^^^

and what have I done?

Frittered the days away, thinking I'd do it tomorrow

when tomorrow came, which is no longer tomorrow

I found myself wiped out and in bed on most of my time off

and even during some of my time on

^^^

Now it is my time on, but I am taking time off to get at least one blog written

and will catch up on the rest bit by bit.

^^^

Editor's note:  Luckily, the flu gang way afore too long!!

Got it!

Thanks Relyn....Google Chrome worked!

Happy days to all.

upload picture woes

 

Just when I think I know it all

Well, enough to get by anyways

I get a curveball thrown at me.

 

Blogger.com's face leering at me

as it winds up and let go of what I don't see coming.

Daring me to correctly compensate my swing and hit it square on.

 

I can't even knock it into foul territory this time

(Though there's certainly enough foul territory coming out of my mouth)

Strike three I'm out.

 

Can anyone help me with this? 

 

It seems that I can no longer upload pictures to be used on a post from my computer.

I click the little picture icon

am told to select a file

but "computer" is no longer an option.

 

I can upload "from this blog", "from Picasa Web Albums", from "my phone" from "webcam" and from "URL", but no option from my computer.

 

Has anyone else had this happen? 

What can I do about it? 

 

A solution would get a standing ovation!



What is normal?

They say it's back to normal now.

The tree is laying out in the snowbank and will be roasted in the spring cleanup.

The decorations are put away

The needles are mostly out of the carpet

and the cat has puked and shat the last of the tinsel out of her system.

 

 The goodies are almost all gone

(someone shared a good theory with me the other day, eat all the leftovers really quickly, gorge yourself because the sooner they are gone the sooner you can start to lose that weight!)

 

Roast turkey, turkey pie, turkey sandwiches and turkey soup are done with until next Thanksgiving

Tim Horton's Candy Cane Hot Chocolate is no longer stocked

And the outdoor lights still hang but are no longer plugged in.

 

I used to look so forward to this time

Time to go back to normal.

 

But, normal these days

means that the house is just Gerry and I

after two weeks of hustle and bustle and cooking dinner every night (gasp!!)

Mom caught her Greyhound bus back to the coast

and
 

Jeremy flew off into the fog this afternoon in the little rinky dink 2 prop plane today back to his work in Edmonton and home in Red Deer
 

after a couple of false starts, first to bring us back the bottle of iced tea in his pocket that he wasn't allowed to take on the plane,

then the bottles of shampoo and conditioner in his backpack that had to go back through the luggage check in area to get put into his suitcase.

When the plane only holds a couple dozen people, it's easy to find his suitcase back that hadn't yet been loaded.

Finally getting the go ahead to step out on the cold windy grey tarmac and climb the dozen steps into the plane,

us banging on the window for a last wave goodbye but him not noticing

and the door folding him up inside

putting my son's life in the pilot's hands, wanting to tell him to be careful as he has precious cargo on board

Then the two and a half hour drive back home, him nearly arriving in Edmonton before we get back home.

 

Thankfully, normal does mean that Trevor is still around, even though he no longer lives at home either.

Having a girlfriend means that he is not to eager to explore the opportunities that well paying labourous jobs in the cold north have to offer, for now. 

He's only 18, still young, time will tell where he will head in his future.

So, back to normal, like it or not.

ps....what is not normal is that I can't upload pics off my computer to put into this post, anyone else having that problem??

 

 



Time for me and angel pee

 

First I want to wish all my blog buddies a happy new year and say that I was pleasantly surprised to see that some of you checked in on my wellbeing during my abscence.

 

 

 

Now, I'll tell the story of angel pee.

 

 

I was in the liquor store before Christmas looking for Root Beer Schnapps

Suggested to me by my son

(you know you're getting old when....)

 

Found the Schnapps, but as good as Root Beer Schnapps sounded, Butter Ripple sounded better, so that's what ended up in my basket.

I also spied with my little eye something that was yellow.

Advocaat, to be exact.

This is a Dutch drink that I used to call "yellow pudding" when I was small.  I knew my mom loved it, so I bought a bottle to surprise her, I didn't even know you could get it in Canada.

 

So, twas the night before Christmas and in my house

Two ladies sat around the table with advocaat and a game of Rummikib.

Advocaat is served in shot glasses with a little tiny spoon and whipped cream on top. 

At the first taste, my mom said:
"net of er een engeltje op mijn tongske pissed."

Apparantly, she and her mother used to drink advocaat and play cards and giggle over nothing and my grandpa would tell them to at least let him in on the joke, but since he was a man, he didn't understand how us gals can just get the giggles over nothing.

 

Anyway, she asked if I knew what it meant, which I sort of did.

It translates to:

"Just as if a little angel peed on my tongue."

 

I guess in Holland the angels pee differently than here,

because I wouldn't want anyone peeing on my tongue, even angels!

 

Do love the trip down memory lane though.