Thursday, September 3, 2015

No, I'm not depressed

I'm not depressed
I do not take pleasure in the things that I used to enjoy.
I haven't picked up my camera in weeks, don't take it with me wherever I go
Don't post or join in the conversations on my photography group's facebook page,
don't go to group photo sessions.

I don't go to Friday night cards anymore with my group of friends
That they are much better people that I am
That I don't deserve their company.
I've done some really bad things since springtime.

I skipped hockey Tuesday night 
and will have to force myself to go tonight.  

I haven't picked up a knitting needle, crochet needle or cross-stitch needle in months.

Haven't gone on bike rides around the lake
but that's because the bears this year are everywhere
and I don't want to surprise a mama with her cubs
or come between a papa and the berry bushes or apple trees.

 I'm not depressed.  
Those are definitely some of the signs.
But I've been clinically depressed before
and I know what that feels like.

I don't feel unfulfilled.
I still scrapbook and read.
I still work and enjoy my work for the most part.
I do enjoy my time alone.
I want time alone.  
The more time alone the better.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that. 


  1. Been there, Done that. I would call it regrouping or refocusing. Hang in there we need you!

  2. that's a good way of putting it Ian. And true.

  3. Of course there is nothing wrong with that. We all need a break sometimes. And we can learn a lot from being alone by ourselves, choosing two or three things we enjoy, like your reading or scrapping, and passing up the others. You may find you don't need those things back, or maybe you will. But for now, you're doing what feels right. Don't second guess yourself (not that I think you are). You are spot on!

  4. I think time alone is important. Time alone goes a bit more slowly and gives us time to think and reflect. Enjoy your time.