Tuesday, March 23, 2010

listen to me, go away, i hate you, dont leave me

how do i deal with them
those demons in the night
i toss and turn
they wont leave me alone
these demons in the night
they settle in my head
and whisper in my ear
do it do it do it do it
no one will know
my soul screams in return
at those demons in the night
my hair is twisted
my pillows are balled up
i'm tangled in the sheets
my cat takes off tired of my thrashing about
will they go away tonight
will i give in to them
or can i appease them for one more night
they know my weaknesses so well
those demons in the night
they know the inner me
the real me
the me that hides away from the world
the me that no one really believes is me
they know just where to find me
they know just what to do
they know more than i
because i know not what to do
why am i me
why cant i just be
why wont they let me be
they exhaust me
i want to give in
temporary measures are temporary bandaids
and just don't cut it
thoughts of my children
help me to fight them off
my children
if i didnt have them
i wouldnt be here
tonight i say to them
those demons in the night
go away let me sleep you dont need to feed on me
not tonight
let me put you off for one more night
i will not give in to you tonight
and tomorrow will be a new day


  1. Hi Joyce,

    ....................If only I could be close and hold you right now!!! Darn why does the world have to be so big.

    I'm gladd you fight them, keep doing so. I know it's a struggle every single time. But you are you because you are so beautiful inside and out. Please do cherish that. I love you and miss you lots my dearest.
    Warm warm warm hugs Dagmar
    ps I'm so gladd you've wrote this off your chest.

  2. "Why am I me?" I've often asked myself that very same question. We, who read your blog, are pleased that you are you. Warm hugs.


  3. That's extremely powerful. I hope your demons give you a break. I know I have mine, too. They come, they go. And the next day, I'm drained! I hope by now, you've had a good rest and they've gone down under for awhile.

  4. Oh you put this so well. I have them too, but not often.Powerful words!