Wednesday, September 4, 2013


i wonder whether the stresses 
are worth the pain
why are the bad times so much more magnified than the good?

is life worth the emotional struggles
the inner conflicts that constantly pit the evil me against the good me
the psychopathic tendencies against the pretended normalcy

born under the sign of gemini....the twins
could not be more suitable

the me known by some
and the me known by others
smart, witty, friendly, creative, loving 
smart, wily, loner, destructive, full of hatred
my blog is totally me
but only part of me

less than a handful know the both of me
the only ones who really know the danger of me
are those i task to protect me from my own evil potential
authorities to whom i tell all that i am capable of
who know much of what i have done in the past
i have paid my dues but the danger has not diminished 
and so
willingly i accept the external boundaries placed on my freedom
boundaries that are renewed over and over
to keep myself from horrendous acts
not for me, not for others
but for my children

my children love me and need me
who could explain to my dog where i went?
my husband has stuck through so much with me
i can't desert family in their time of need

and so i deal with it in the way i know how
cutting, burning, carving, destroying
because there is always some reason 
that holds me back
something that makes me say wait until next week

next week has not come



  1. This is very open up but I prefer when people show honesty and their true feelings.

    1. I try to use my blog as a self help tool rather than as entertainment for others, and last night I was just in a dark space. Thank you.

  2. Oh my word! Please tell me about this gorgeous image. Please. It so caught my mind I haven't even read any words yet. I'll be back...

  3. my blog is totally me
    but only part of me

    I think this is true of all of us. But, you - you had the courage to say it out loud. Love to you, friend.

  4. I





    Most of us do but don't admit it. to ourselves.

    [you should add courage to your list]